05.17.09
It's been 9 months since we landed in Nepal. It's been almost 1 week since my parents returned home after their 2-week stay with us. And only 2 days until I turn 25 years old.
It's amazing, or enslaving, how time and numbers order my life, especially these days. Here, where time is slow, I seem to trudge through hours until a day, a week is over. I find it hard to exist. And perhaps Nepal is teaching me (whether I want it to or not) to simply do that. Just exist.
It is another gentle, breezy evening in Kathmandu, and for the moment, I'm surprisingly in the moment. We sit on the balcony in silence that could never be awkward. We sit and exist together, because it seems that all we have is each other, for the moment.
Soul
soul loneliness
dry, dusty, wilting
faithless, insecure, thirsty
with a depth I cannot fathom
like the floor is falling away
from beneath my dirty feet
the sky caving in, ironing me flat
a hopelessness I cannot contain
a craving for what, I do not know
a hole I am forever falling into
Alice in Wonderland
a land full of wonders, yes
but somehow un-wonderful
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